[There's the sound of Kadaj dragging something. It sounds heavy. A series of thumps later, Kadaj's voice comes on, sounding smug.]

Delivery--

[There's a curse, followed by frantic button mashing, before the post goes encrypted]

( Locked to Duke, unhackable )

You wanted to speak to me, brother dearest?

It's not as if I'm afraid of a few ghosts.


Duke. I'm getting bored.

Duke.

What on earth is all that noise about?! I should have known that you humans have no dignity whatsoever.

What?!

WHAT IS THIS.

[The recording is punctuated by a hoarse scream.]

It's Mother's box, but it's empty. Empty!

Mother must be here, then. It was that creature in the ground, wasn't it?! I'll kill it. I'll rip it limb from limb. How dare it. HOW DARE IT.

Brother. I'm going to be out for a while. I have someone to murder. Behave yourself and look after Mother. Or come with me, if you're of any use at all! She's here. That creature has her. I'm going to...

[There's a loud impact, and the recording ends in a shriek of tortured metal and static.]

[References this and this.]

[And there is a great deal of mysterious thunking and clunking in the background. And the sound of a lot of very heavy things being shifted. It sounds like a barricade being built, and perhaps it is - except that it's not designed to keep people out, it's designed to keep people in. Specifically, one person.]

Brother. I have to go out for a while. If you so much as step out of that door, I'll do more than tie you to a chair.

[Kadaj hums a bit, off-key. It sounds like he's in a decent mood, at least.]

Brother.

I'm getting tired of this.

Stop seeing him. Or shall I start seeing that little girl Turk you keep on the side? I know where she is now.

[Something rings in the background. It sounds like steel.]

And we're out of food again. Fix it.


[OOC: adflksjflkdj semi-hiatus for the week, go! I managed to work myself sick, and will hopefully crawl back to health soon? Argh.]

[The recording fades in and out, like someone is walking back and forth. Or following someone back and forth. Kadaj's voice sounds out, punctuated by footsteps. He seems to be talking to someone]

...ought to find a better place to stay...

...na, brother. Or are you Mother yet? When is your pathetic little human brain going to dissolve and let her take over? It's been a week. A week! A whole week! And by the way...

...keep moving around. This isn't good for you, Mother. You need to take care of that human body. Let's find a proper place to settle down. Some place that doesn't smell. I'll look after you. What's the human word for it?

...Getting "married"?


...Are you Mother yet? No? Che.

A storm above and explosions below. Pity I'm too busy to take part.


Brother. I do believe you have something that you shouldn't have.

Give it back.

[ If it sounds like someone's throwing a major temper tantrum in the background, it's because someone is doing just that. With a very sharp double bladed sword. A series of thumps are heard, probably due to the assault on the console, and there's the ring of steel and the hiss of parted air. ]

This ... city ... is ... pathetic.

[ Kadaj sounds like he's alternating between epic rage and trying to maintain a sense of aloof sneering. ]

Where is my family. Where are my brothers.

Where is Mother.


Maybe I should [thumpthumpthump] fix this city, hm? I think it would look a lot better without those snivelling crawling humans.


Starting with you, niisan.

What is this?

A city? A filthy, stinking city, crawling with humans?

[ A contemptous snort. ]

Brother~ where are you? I can smell you.

[OOC: Sorry about the slow start up, guys! But he's here now, and you can't get rid of him 8)]